November 2010
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y,
baby, you know i love you, and above all you’re not just my cousin but a sister to me. you’re the only girl i can trust regardless, who i know will never turn into a back stabbing bitch. i love you, and it’s hurting me to see you hurt like this. you don’t deserve it, and seeing what you’re going through is giving me this immense ache, that has me crying right here...
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December's goals.
i think it would be a good idea to make a list of my goals for the month or just a list of things i need to do.
pay off all three medical bills, if i am rejected again from receiving insurance ;_;.
lose ten pounds.
work out daily.
eat less
eat way way less
save $500 by the end of december
read two books
go to tahoe with lina
pile up more work hours
spend a lot of time with my bff
cut...
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en
thank you, because without you doing what you did, and me doing what i did; i wouldn’t be here. you were right about me perhaps; i am indecisive, insecure, manipulative, and broken. you also said i was beautiful, wonderful, talented, and one of the most lively people you had ever come across. i like to believe i am a little bit of everything you said, along as a little of everything we...
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circa survive- i’ve been dying to reach you
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daze
I spent most of my day sombre and sometimes things get better but they go back to being mediocre again. Somewhere along the way i forgot how to let people in, i forgot what it feels like to work repeatedly to make something work. Things are mundane, and an ongoing routine. Make it stop, make it stop. Thoughts travel like the speed of light through my head. Some so poisonous, some empty, some...
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“Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumblebee...”
– Mary Kay Ash
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I hate this town, it’s so washed up And all...
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a lost winter ago
It’s 39° outside and i can feel the cold penetrate in every bone in my body. Freezing my body, as it struggles to raise the temperature back to normal. Nights like these i am reminded that i am alone. An empty bed and plenty of sheets to hide my solitude beneath the covers and slip away into a dream, an absolute escape of reality. It wasn’t always like this, i had someone before. I had...
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Yesterday,
was perhaps one of the worst afternoons i have ever had, and the night was a little worse. i can’t recall getting the flu in years and on top of that having serious back and neck aches from stress to top it off. today wasn’t any better but at least i was finally able to get out of bed and do a bit more then toss and turn and cry because i could not fall asleep. i have my last english...
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one rainy day
we sat on the curb side and it was raining that day. i begged you not to leave and with your hands to your face you sobbed like i never seen a man sob before. you whispered words that i could barely make out. i love you i love you i love you. they were swept by the wind and splattered onto the floor like each wet drop falling from the sky. perhaps they were all a figment of my imagination. i just...
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A
It feels like forever since i’ve written anything to you. Part of me convinced myself that i had nothing left to say after you left, that perhaps i’ve told you plenty of times that i love you, and that you’re my best friend and i will always be here. We were always just so close; thats what i miss more than anything. Being close to you, so in a way i realize i’ve been...
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rihanna- california king bed <3
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lust
Sometimes the way you make me feel has no boundaries, no words, nothing.
It’s just enough.
and yet, it doesn’t give me a sense of fulfillment.
You piss me off more than you ever make me smile.
You send me running up walls.
Back down.
We hang on hoping we’d get this right.
But sorry baby, we cannot hold on to something that isn’t strong enough to sustain us.
You...
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i apologize
I’ve just been so out of words lately.
Like nothing i can say or do is right; nothing is enough, not for me or anyone.
I just want to curl up into a ball and not be forced to commit to anything.
Carry less and less of peoples expectations hanging with shackles from my ankles.
I’m so uninspired and perhaps too tired, losing ground at the wrong point in life.
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every november; what a mean cycle.
I’m here typing this because i’m hoping writing it down somewhere can ease my insecurities. The truth is, i still want to find you. I want you to want to see me, to want to look for me. As stupid as it sounds. I should be happy with my life, that i was blessed with a home and a family; as dysfunctional as we may be, i should be grateful to say i have one. And i am. But this time...
hose-ay asked: Hey!
I'm getting my mentor this wednesday!
Pretty excited(:
I'm getting my mentor this wednesday!
Pretty excited(:
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mariettismo asked: i like ur blog a lot, it's like very serene
just dropping by to say hi (:
just dropping by to say hi (:
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spring cleaning in november
I spent the day cleaning out my entire room. Ridding myself from garbage that i had stored; things that served as mnemonic devices; memories of nights of too much partying, nights i spent alone crying, and those of you. I came across my wooden box, which many people recall as i have written of it before. I tore every letter, disposed of every picture and then i cam across a book. Becoming old with...
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aren't you tired, cuz i am.
you know, lately i just feel so detached from everyone.
i feel like shit, and things get better for days only, then they go back to being a big pile of bullshit and emptyness.
going back to faking being okay, being healthy, being happy.
its always the same.
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tuesday night
I haven’t really felt like myself for about the past two weeks.
I suppose things go from being too hectic and then they slow down a bit but when i least expect it, things are flying past me.
I suppose i’m still trying to get the rhythm of things.
I’m trying to achieve some personal growth and yet, try to form some type of reliable realtionships with people.
To be honest, the...
loveastranger asked: You are loved
Love,
A Stranger
Love,
A Stranger
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Way out of my league
You seem quite perfect and a stranger to me all in all.
You’re smart, funny, educated, responsible, and just too good to be true.
And somehow you have managed to grab my attention, invade my thoughts, and pick up my phone more times than i have in a while.
Don’t turn into an asshole please.
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