Sometimes the way you make me feel has no boundaries, no words, nothing.
It’s just enough.
and yet, it doesn’t give me a sense of fulfillment.
You piss me off more than you ever make me smile.
You send me running up walls.
We hang on hoping we’d get this right.
But sorry baby, we cannot hold on to something that isn’t strong enough to sustain us.
You don’t love me, you’re just comfortable with me.
I sit in the old chair, just watching you watch me out of the corner of my eye.
I close both eyes and take a deep breath, and i wonder what you’re thinking as you sit there so timidly and stare.
When i manage to turn around and look your way, you turn the other or act as if you weren’t watching.
I wonder what you’re thinking.
Are you wondering how i am doing?
Because chances are if you asked, i’d say i’m doing great.
Great doesn’t feel okay without knowing you’re mine.
I wonder if you’re wondering if i still like you.
The answer is yes, but if you’d ask me, i’d say no, because after whats happened, i know where i stand.
As you sit there across the room just watching me smile, giggle and put on this silly show, i wonder if you can see right through this facade.
If you can, are you watching my heart break?
I wonder if it remorses your conscious at least a little, knowing i waited the whole time you were away only for you to come back and act indifferent towards me.
How would you have felt?
How do you feel?
Can you say you feel something for me?
At least just a tiny little bit?
at the same time i loved you.
we spent eternity evading reality; you and i linked under one feeling.
i don’t blame you, i’m just as guilty.
for the longest time i’ve lived feeling undeserving.
never good enough.
you were right about me.
i was too blind to see it then.
i do now.